DON’T WHITEWASH YOURSELF

Racism works in strange ways. Often, it goes undetected. Prejudices can be so ingrained into your personality that it’s hard to point them out, let alone get rid of them. I can’t count the number of times I’ve corrected someone’s English, even though I can barely speak Hindi. I know that Obama has two daughters and that one of them is going to Harvard, but I don’t know who our own vice president is. Yesterday I was speaking to a girl from France, in an effort to improve my French. She asked me if I read Hindi or Marathi literature, I replied that I didn’t, and she said, “but why not?” I didn’t know what to say. None of my friends here would ever have asked me that. For some reason we have an unofficial agreement that Indian culture is to be rejected. Of course, the reason I don’t read Hindi and Marathi literature is that I would barely understand it. I don’t take enough pride in being Indian, and that’s terrible, because I will always be an Indian, no matter how westernised I try to become. There are a lot of things about India that I don’t like, that I think we should criticise, but I’m tired of trying to escape my own heritage. I’m tired of obsessively trying to emulate western fashion ideals while ignoring everything about Indian style. I’m tired of looking down at people who watch Bollywood movies every week. And I’m not going to do that anymore.

Sumana Ramanan, an esteemed journalist and former editor at Hindustan times, thinks we should try to get back in touch with our culture. She says “because of our colonial past English has become the main medium of thinking and reading for a certain section of the Indian elite, which is fine. I don’t think we can turn the clock back, nor should we try to. English also happens to be an economically advantageous language right now. We shouldn’t try to deny or run away from it; embrace it and enjoy it. However we should realise that we’re completely cut off from a very rich, varied and diverse culture, because we aren’t engaging with literature, thought, music and other modes of knowledge in Indian languages. We should start reading at least translations of Indian works because it would free our minds in a way. To learn in the language of the coloniser has a lot of other implications.” Literature is an excellent place to start, since words reflect the beliefs and traditions of a particular place or time.

The sad part is that a lot of people don’t even realise that this is happening. The British did something that’s almost worse than killing millions of people. They stamped out our culture, they weaved an air of superiority around their own society, they made sure we understood that white is better. And we accepted it. Towards the end of their rule, the most prosperous and respected members of Indian society spoke impeccable English. Their sons had been educated in England. They hosted tea parties and wrote for English newspapers. That sentiment is still around today, and it’s time to get rid of it.

According to Amrita Singh, an Indian student currently pursuing a PhD in neuroscience in the USA “When you come abroad, you suddenly start to cherish speaking Hindi. Eating Indian food and wearing Indian clothes also feels very emotional. I feel that that helps with my internalised racism at least a little bit - you see white people in real life and realise that what gets portrayed on screen is very different from the average white person. You also begin to feel proud about being Indian because you stop seeing the everyday dirt and pollution and things and start seeing only your family and TV shows/movies. Which again portray nice things. This showed me that racism has a lot to do with ignorance. Also in India we have so many cultural groups within the country that it's hard to embrace everyone in it as your own. It's easy to be proud of your country when you perceive everyone in it as your 'in group' and everyone outside as your 'out group'. In most western countries they have just one language, one culture throughout the country so it's easier to get people to be patriotic.” Amrita was born and raised in Mumbai and has a bachelor’s in technology from IIT Kanpur.

I’m not trying to place blame or pass judgement. I simply want to acknowledge that internalised racism is very real. When I was younger I dreamed of being blonde and Caucasian. Barbie tried to promote diversity by producing people-of-colour dolls, but I didn’t even want one. In the third standard some of my friends and I were trying to impersonate a popular girl band, and I remember hearing a chorus of “I wanna be the blonde one!” Obviously that attitude can be extremely harmful, and you end up with teenagers who hate their naturally frizzy hair (that’s mostly just me) and who would rather celebrate Halloween than Diwali. Not that that’s a terrible thing, it’s just sad to think that in a few decades our festivals, stories, skills and traditions could be entirely forgotten. To me, internalised racism is closely related to self-esteem. Growing up surrounded by western media and pop culture, I had a very fixed notion of beauty and success. It’s incredibly difficult to break away from that mould, to see myself as Indian and to then feel happy about being Indian. But at least I’ve noticed what’s happening, and that’s a start.

When I visited Belgium, almost everyday someone would be telling me “Belgian beer is the best” or that they had the best chocolate, football team, music, you name it. Basically, they love their country. And they love being Belgian. That being said, it’s important to note that India is a developing, third world country. And the USA, UK and the rest of Europe are global superpowers, so naturally they invite admiration. But we, as people, don’t need to be more like them, as people. What we need to emulate are their principles and work ethic, not their appearance and culture. It’s hard to be proud and nationalistic when the most powerful people in the country are ridiculously corrupt, and it’s easy to convert a lack of respect for our current leaders into hatred for the entire country. So where do you draw the line?

Don’t be ashamed of who you are. Don’t let anyone tell you not to wear ethnic clothes. Can you imagine how boring things would be if all the countries in the world were like the USA? Celebrate Indian culture, explore Indian music and dance and traditions. Read about Indian people. Read about Indian issues. The next time you share a post about Black Lives Matter, think about the Dalits in our own country. Don’t bully people who can’t speak English. Love your frizzy hair and brown skin. There’s a lot we could learn from the western world, but there’s more for us to relearn about India.

My Brain is Weird

When a rational, sane person thinks of something they want to do, their thought process is probably something like: 1) I want this thing to happen 2) here's how I could make it happen 3) this is what I should do first, and so on. When I think of something that I want, my mind is all like "let's do everything possible to make sure this doesn't happen, hating ourselves the whole time". Let's say one night I decide I'm going to actually catch the bus the next day, and save my cab money. Before I go to sleep I'm like okay, I'll get up fifteen minutes earlier. This is what I'll eat. This is what I'll wear. Unconsciously, I build the whole thing up in my head, giving it way more attention than it deserves. It's just a regular bus ride. It takes twenty minutes. Nothing eventful will happen. I probably won't remember it in one week. Somehow, one part of my brain knows all this, but to another part (the part that controls what I do) this inconsequential bus ride is a massive, daunting, anxiety inducing task. Right then and there, this part goes okay, no, nope nope nopity nope. There's no way in hell that we are catching that bus. It's too hard. Just forget it and we can live in blissful ignorance. I can sense this. I can feel it happening. Of course, the rational side of my brain is like "shut the hell up, crazy side. We are doing this." At this point the crazy side gives us a crazy serial killer smile, says "lol, good luck with that losers", and goes to sleep. So a part of me is convinced that I'm not going to catch the bus and I should save myself from disappointment by giving up already. This part is a million times stronger than the little angelic bunny popping up from the ground saying "It's just a bus ride!"

accurate depiction of a brain

Crazy side is happy. Crazy side knows it's in control. 

Jump to me waking up in the morning. The devil's been up for ages, drinking coffee, just chilling. Angel bunny is running around screaming. From here on out it's war- the weird part is that I'm on both sides. I'll try to do everything fast, but also waste as much time as I can, because catching that bus has now turned into this huge, scary highly improbable mission. I know what the crazy side's game plan is: do everything super slowly so that I inevitably miss the bus, hate myself, give up on all my dreams and resign myself to a life of cab-spending. I could just give in and follow this plan, saving myself from the eventual grief, but unfortunately the stupid, rational side is determined to fight. By the time I'm in the shower, I have fifteen minutes left and I'm so full of anxiety; a pressure cooker would be afraid. Basically what scares me is the part where I try super hard, ending with me dressing in thirty seconds, skipping breakfast and running to the bus stop, only to see the bus leaving. Now obviously, most people would be like "...... so what....? just try again tomorrow?" Unfortunately, it makes more sense in my head to just not try at all. Eventually I end up with three minutes left to get dressed and eat breakfast. Now THIS is the part that I really don't get. I know I could catch that bus. I've done it before. I'll have to run around crazily for a while but it'll be worth it in the end. For whatever reason, my brain decides no, we'll do everything properly and take a cab. That's okay, I want to eat breakfast, it's a sensible decision. But then for the next ten years I feel like a loser. PICK A SIDE, ME (crazy side laughs).    

I have no idea why I do this to myself. It probably has something to do with the fact that I'm ridiculously optimistic and have, like, zero sense of time. By ridiculously optimistic I mean that I can convince myself that it takes two hours to write an essay, (even though I know that's bullshit) and it ends up taking the whole night. The only way I can get around the crazy side is by getting up ridiculously early (seven a.m. for a ten a.m. bus), so even with all of its antics I have plenty of time to spare. This is intensely annoying, especially when you meet your friend at the bus stop and they're like "oh, I woke up twenty minutes ago". I hate you, sane people.

Whenever I decide I really want something, I end up stopping myself from getting it (that was so deep wow). I have to sneak around in my own head, pretending to be all nonchalant like 'psshh, I don't care about my grades.' Obviously, that's impossible because my brain can see me studying and shit and can tell what I'm doing. This is when the devil wakes up and is like " I bet you won't finish studying in time". I panic, procrastinate, scream at the crazy side, cry, procrastinate, hate myself, and yell "okay crazy side, you win! I give up!". And that's how I learned to write any assignment or study for any exam, in one night. The end.

WasteHisTime2016

I can’t stop thinking about how we are the first social media generation. The first ever Youtube stars were born. Sitting at home and talking to a camera became a profitable career in our lifetime. I think it’s so, so cool that we’re the first ones here. Can you imagine, one hundred years down the line, your great great grandkids are doing a school project about the history of social media, and how it started with texting and 240p selfies, and you’re just like, “oh yeah I was there.” How. Freaking. Awesome. I don’t know how many people have noticed this, but we are here at the beginning of something EPIC. It’s like all those stories that your parents tell you about cave people in the time before internet. One day we will be cave people saying, “a million subscribers was a big deal, okay?”

 Now is when you can finally make money by doing nothing. (Okay, not nothing, but comparatively lesser than what you would have had to do forty years ago.) Upload some ootd posts to Instagram. Get popular. Clothing brands will literally send you clothes and pay you to post pictures. Not only that, we’re probably about one step away from just completely wordless communication. Like today all you have to do is pick up your phone and type, right? What if someday it’s just like, close your eyes, reach out for your friend with your mind, she gets a notification in her head, boom, connection. If that happens in my lifetime I will die happy. A world where you never have to interact with other people. *sigh*

What other cool things have we witnessed? Okay, so we were the first ever creators of memes. Vines. GIFs. Photobombs. Can I just say, that is something that I will always be proud of? I mean, look at this stuff:

                                

I don’t think they laughed this much in the 90s. (I mean idk I wasn’t there, obvi. But I’m just guessing.) Other cool things happening is that the world is becoming smaller than ever. We pretty much know everything about people from everywhere. And it helps to get rid of the idea that people are different. Now that you know they have ‘eyebrow goals’ and ‘best cat vines’ in India, Egypt, Kenya, Norway, etc, how different could it really be?

Actually I don’t know…… I was a part of this exchange program with students from Belgium and they didn’t know we had roads in India, let alone internet, so maybe it isn’t such a small world after all. (Honestly though? India is the world’s fastest growing economy? Obviously we have roads? What do they even do at your school….) Okay back to what I was talking about.

My favourite things about this internet boom revolution thing are that 1) You can express your opinion freely. This might be a bad thing, because people’s opinions are annoying (sometimes) but at least we have a voice now! Unless, like, the Shiv Sena arrests you. Ahem. Also, if you do have a lot of followers who look up to you, please, please use your power for something important. Don’t just post stupid selfies and tell them to bring you m&ms at fan meetups *cough*Nash Grier*cough*. So much shade being thrown in this post, damn.

2) The birth of the hashtag. Anything can become a huge movement with the right #. Like, after the Paris attacks, #porteouverte (open door) was trending. People would use the hashtag on twitter to tell people their home could be used as shelter. I love that. I love people helping other people. Speaking of safety, after the Chennai floods, there was like zero communication, and then Facebook stepped in and started marking people ‘safe’. Basically, through the government rescue effort, residents of Chennai were being labelled safe one by one, and facebook would send a notification to all their friends because phone lines were down. Two of my friends finally got news about their families in this way.

Hashtags can be used for other wonderful things, like #WasteHisTime2016. This is my personal favourite. Girls are finally coming together to call out all those stupid ass boys who will treat you like crap. Sorrz bro, if you’re a fuckboy, you’re going down. (Metaphorically. Maybe even literally. I support that.)

  

      

3) My absolute favourite thing is the birth of the fangirl. Tumblr. Fanfiction. Fanart. Cosplaying. YES. There are so many adults for whom Harry Potter ended with the last book/ movie. But then there is my entire generation for whom it. Will. Never. End. To this day, I spend most of my time reading Harry Potter fanfiction. It’s still my whole life. And I am not ashamed of that (okay, maybe a little.) Now you can buy wands and potions on Etsy. What a time to be alive.

  

When Will It End

Does anyone else ever feel like their life is some sort of cosmic joke? Because I'm pretty sure mine is, and the fates are laughing at me. The number of times I end up in strange, awkward situations is evidence enough. Take right now, for example: my alarm mysteriously failed to go off, so I woke up fifteen minutes before I had to leave, and being a rational and slow-moving human being, I decided to skip my first class. This gave me around an hour and a half to get ready. Then I obviously spent way too long in the shower, rehearsing for my future career as a cruise ship singer, killing mosquitoes, etc. These things can't be rushed. After dealing with my ridiculous nest of hair, I had to find breakfast. Added to the stress of finding food was the stress of picking the absolute perfect time to get into a cab and leave. You see, I canNOT be early, because everyone else is already in class (the first one that i skipped) and there would be no one to talk to and I would have to awkwardly stand around alone before the next class and no one else would be there and some teachers might see me and then I would have to explain my cosmic joke of a life. So. Have to leave in time to arrive PERFECTLY on time (because I can't be late either, for obvious reasons).
Anyway, once I was done eating unhealthy amounts of papaya (all I could find, for some reason), I called for a cab and left.
-This is where the cosmic joke gets really cosmic-
So normally I walk out of my building, wait a bit, and the cab shows up. As I was walking down the stairs, I saw a cab approaching through the window. As in I saw it through the window, not like it was coming through the window. Anyway, when I reached down in front of my building, there was no cab in sight. I waited around, as you do, wondering what happened to the cab- and then a different cab drove up from the opposite direction. A rickety, old looking cab, but still a cab. It pulled up and someone got out. Sensing an obvious opportunity, I walked up, got in and shut the door. As we rounded the corner of the building, I was beginning to realise just how old this cab and its driver were, and what do I see? My cab. The cab originally meant for me, the one i saw from the stairs. My very new and not run down cab. Faithfully waiting for me on the wrong side of the building. Obviously, being the awkward person I am, I said nothing and just kept my head down. And as we passed the gate, I tried desperately hard to not make eye contact with the security guards who are in charge of this whole cab arrangement thing. They'd know i was in the wrong cab, and it was possible that they would stop me and ask, or something. I'd actually be delighted if someone made me go to my wonderful, faithful, made-in-this-century cab.......................... but it would be too painfully awkward. So no.
Anyway, now I'm sitting in this rattly cab, despairing about my life, praying that i'm not late, etc. I haven't eaten a proper breakfast in months. I also haven't done my math homework. In years. Oh well. Hopefully that was mildly entertaining, and I'll talk to you guys soon, xoxo, blah blah.
p.s. I made it to class on time! Perfectly. On. Time. No awkward standing around! No lateness! Hallelujah!!!!! One last exclamation mark! Bye!

Warm

Warm rocks under your back, and the sun leaving red imprints on your eyes

The smell of freshly mown grass on a summer breeze

The taste that chocolate leaves in your mouth after a good meal, at midnight

Soft blankets on a winter Sunday, and slivers of light

And boys who wrap their arms around you, and carefully mess up their hair.

Old books with worn covers, that you read when you were eleven

And you still remember the feeling that each word gave you.

Meandering afternoons, where time stops for a few precious hours,

And everything feels within reach

Tired kisses that miss their mark, in the moment before you fall asleep.

Your first favourite song, replayed from fading memories and forgotten beliefs

And you find torn up band posters at the bottom of your closet with your oldest 

pair of heels

Rushing out of the airport, pausing to take in your city at night

Coming home.

His cologne lingers on your skin, and you breathe it in as you turn out the light.

Things To Type Into Google

*please keep in mind the healthy amount of sarcasm employed in the writing of this post
Aloha! okay so I was busy studying economics when I came across a point that said: 'the population of India is higher because puberty is reached at an earlier age in tropical climates'. That sounded kind of ridiculous to me, so I decided to google it (it's true, fyi). After a few searches that didn't yield much, I started to type 'do girls in hot climates reach puberty earlier', and as soon I typed 'do girls', the most interesting suggestions showed up below the type box: do girls like shy guys (yes!); do girls like guys with beards; do girls like tall guys (YES); do girls like short guys, etc.
So obviously once I was done reading about puberty, I came back and checked every. single. letter- for guys instead. Let me tell you, most interesting and revealing break I've ever taken. Also this post is giving away how weird I am and what I actually do in my free time..... shit.
I started out with just 'do guys', and the suggestions were 1) like fat girls 2)like curvy girls 3) like short girls and 4) like shy girls.
Jeez. Girls, I feel your pain, but google is really not going to give you the best answers.
(Also if you're really bored just type strange questions into google. Guaranteed free entertainment.)
Anyway, I then went on to 'do guys a-' and got 1) always think dirty (hahaha probably) 2) also have periods 3) always come and 4) actually like kissing
I cannot believe people actually searched this stuff. Do guys also have periods? Seriously? NO because they don't freaking give birth.
'Do guys b' gave me 1) blush and 2) bleed during intercourse. I actually clicked on 'do guys blush' because I wanted to know, and the first thing that came up was '3 ways to make boys blush.' Ah, wikihow. You give me life. And no I'm not talking about the article here go read it yourself.
'Do guys c' was sort of heartbreaking. Do guys come back? According to Queen Swift, sometimes they do, and sometimes they don't. Google certainly can't tell you if your particular guy under these particular circumstances will come back. This puts into my head the image of a sobbing girl reaching for her laptop and begging google for some answers even though she probably already knows the truth. ouch. moving on.
What I find the most interesting about this is the way that girls seem to club all guys into the same box, as though they will all have the same behaviour, especially in relation to girls. That doesn't work and is actually kind of dangerous because generalized answers to these questions only serve to strengthen existing stereotypes. BUT stereotypes aren't completely arbitrary, and obviously we draw conclusions about guys based on the ones we see around us. Does that mean it's okay to say things like 'guys don't like shy girls' or 'guys are always perverted'? Doesn't that strip people of their individual personalities?  For some reason people are really good at putting people they consider different from themselves in one box. Girls do it to guys, guys do it to girls, Indians do it to westerners, everyone does it to Asians, etc. etc.
Anyway, 'do guys e' brought up 1) ever think about their exes (insecurities, again) and 2) enjoy cuddling
I sincerely hope they do. I love cuddling.
F was hilarious. Do guys fall in love, do guys find me attractive, do guys find me attractive quiz, and do guys find tomboys attractive. It seems like most google searches are inspired by insecurities. (I would know, I've spent enough time searching for things like 'do bookworms evr find love pls help' (I'm kidding.) (almost.))
'Do guys h' proved that people really need to pay attention in biology class with 1) have periods too and 2) have emotions.
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE. BOYS DO NOT HAVE OVARIES OR UTERUSES (UTERII?) AND OBVIOUSLY THEY HAVE EMOTIONS THEY'RE HUMAN.
At this point it was getting pretty boring so I'll just give you the interesting ones:
I got 'do guys-' 1) mean what they say  2) only go for looks  3) only want to get laid (jeez, be more trustworthy, guys)
4) Play hard to get (I'm going to click on this one)
5) Stalk their crush (feel sorry for whoever felt the need to look that up)
6) Think dimples are cute (everyone does, trust me)
7) Watch orange is the new black- I like how this was considered girly behaviour and had to be googled.
8) Say xoxo (there are people who don't say xoxo?) and finally,
9) Do you guys want some cookies?
That's it! I hope you had as much fun reading this strange little post as I did writing it, ciao, xoxo.

White Cotton Kinda Girl

It's two am, and I have exams in four days. Great. This is what my life has become. I hardly even write blog posts anymore, and the one time I do I should actually be studying. I guess I just really wanted to write this post. I'm tired of other people. Talking and thinking and observing and judging. It's exhausting. Everything is just so confusing most of the time, and everyone is always trying so hard to act like they fit in, and now I sound like some whiny emo kid. EXCELLENT.
I swear, I am trying not to be annoying. I know that endlessly talking about how awkward something is or how freaked out you are gets tiresome. I annoy the crap out of myself on a daily basis. At least I can stay away from all the other people who irritate me (aka everyone), hiding in my room reading fanfiction, but I'm stuck with myself, day in, day out. Maybe that's why I sleep so much.
Junior college life is stressful. It is fun sometimes, a lot of the time, and it's good to have something that forces you to actually get up and leave the house every day. And trying out new things and dancing in a huge crowd and screaming over the last piece of cake is brilliant. Also the no uniform thing is great. I freaking love putting outfits together. (Never mind that I normally have about ten minutes in the morning and I look I've been dragged out of a gutter. When I do have time, it's great.) do they pay you to create outfits? Because that would be awesome. I'll do it for free. I still have no idea what I want to do with my life.
That's my whole life right now. Confused. What am I going to do later, where is my eyeliner, how do you even do math, when do I study for my tests, etc. *sings* I don't know, I don't knooooow. Does anyone know that song? Something, by the Beatles? No one? Okay cool brb gonna go drown myself.

The not so great part about high school is insecurity, self esteem issues, and labels. Trying to figure out where you fit, how you should act, what you want other people to think of you. And then you find yourself agreeing with them, becoming their opinions. Because it's just easier that way; do what they expect you to do. But it's actually a lot more fun to rebel. Do whatever the eff you want. And don't conform. Don't put yourself in a box! Since it's still the first month, (of the eleventh) people are trying to figure each other out and find their tribe (do people say that? Tribe? Whatever I'm saying it.) so for these past few weeks I've been constantly thinking about what to do and what to say and how to say it, all in order to portray a certain image. (Also if you've reached this point in the post and you just want to shake me and tell me to CHILL OUT, it's cool. I get it.)
Anyway, I realised that I keep oscillating between all these different sides of me. I can never actually decide what I want to be, and I guess that's who I am now. I love taylor swift. I love nirvana. I even sort of like twilight. AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME.
That's what this post is about really. Maybe someday I'll fix myself into just one of my personas (let's hope it's sarcastic nerd). Or maybe I'm just having mood swings or something, like every few days or so. Or maybe this all completely normal and I'm not a crazy person who overthinks every single decision? Maybe.
Also, I really don't know how I'm going to be an adult. I am the most indecisive person on the planet. It took me half an hour to pick a notebook for school. An hour to get a book from the library, even though they'll all be there the next time. Don't even get me started on clothes. Or food. Or coffee, ohmygod. Do I want it hot or cold? Sugar or no sugar? Vanilla or caramel? It's impossible. See, this is why I don't go out. Too many freaking decisions. And I always, always end up regretting whatever I finally decide. I have chronic 'what if' disorder. What if I'd worn that top instead, I should have carried that thing, I should have taken the other bus, blah blah blah. The word blah is actually fun to type. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. Try it, it feels like a rhythm (on my keyboard it does so).
Oh, you're all probably still wondering about the title. Bras. What type do you fit into? I love white cotton bras and I just thought it sort of had a ring to it soo....... Yeah. Very random.
BUT I am going to bring out my inner 2005 emo kid and tell you that there is a deeper meaning to it. I might also love black lace bras. I don't fit into just one category, and no one should. Wear red lipstick. Wear slouchy pants and messy buns. Don't do things just because you think they'll fit your image, and try not to judge everyone else by society's messed up standards. I do it a lot too though, because we've been conditioned and everyone does it yada yada yada. Just try.
Now I'm going to ignore the way my economics textbook is glaring at me, and try to sleep even though that's all I did today. If you read till the end I adore you and you are a precious flower who deserves cupcakes! <3
Ciao

i'm not dead yet

yo
so sorry I haven't been more active lately, school started around a month ago (which is when I last published) and life has just been completely ridiculous since then. In fact, I shouldn't even be writing this right now. I should be studying for my biology test on Friday, or working on my history assignment, or doing my Math/ Geography/ English/ Hindi/ Physics/ Chemistry homework. But here I am, procrastinating away. Literally all I am allowed to do (by my conscience as well as my parents) when i'm not studying is sleep. Anyway, enough about my mundane struggles with the obliviously competitive reality that so becomes our species.
but I have way more important stuff to talk about right now.
TFIOS. Oh. My. God. Does it get you in the feels or DOES IT GET YOU IN THE FEELS. One of the most beautiful movies i've ever seen ever. Also, I just want to thank Josh Boone and John Green for staying true to the original story and completely luvung up to its magnificence. And ansel elgort. I cant even
best possible augustus waters ever. Im just so glad that it was so perfect and that they didnt let the fans down one bit because lets be real that could have happened *cough*PERCYJACKSON*cough*. I cried a lot though. And laughed. Like, a LOT. my favourite part is easily the egging scene outside monica's house when gus says, "its all dark to isaac." laughed so much I spilled all the popcorn and then bought another because yolo. So if you haven't seen it yet go do so immediately even if you haven't read the book though you should definitely read the book....
Anyway, its that brilliant time of the year again: sale season! Of course, since Im supposed to be studying so hard and all I haven't actually been to any of the sales yet, but fear not! Sale season is NOT something im willing to sacrifice for you know,the most important exam ever and my general career and life after that..... Yeah.
it is also that time when you walk around in a perpetual state of dampness and your hair resembles a porcupine natural birth gone wrong and your underwear won't dry on the clothesline and the water supply is so infected you're almost an expert at puking AND YOU LOVE EVERY SECOND OF IT. Yaaayyy monsoon (it actually isnt bad I was exaggerating but not about my hair haha). Though I did get completely soaked today on my way home as I stood at the bus stop for fifteen minutes with water dripping on my head through my umbrella (honestly) and then when the bus nearly drove past me I freaking lost it. Oh well, at least it isnt hot anymore. And i just know that that last sentence is going to jinx everything and I will be mentally cursing myself forever.
what else happened since June 3..... I read City of Heavenly Fire (CLACE) and fell in love with James Rodriguez (yes, the footballer, no, i dont 'follow' football and if you ever tried to make me play football or any sport Id run away screaming and haunt you in the afterlife) and Ansel Elgort and John Green all over again.
ik not quite sure what i was going to write about when i started this post.... Oh right! I was going to do that thing where you make a list of predictions for 10 tears later and set a reminder on your google calendar and see how many come true. So ten years later I will be 24 years and 365 days and 19 and a half hours old. (ohemgee im going to be fifteen :O) Lets do this

Ten Years Later

1) SHERLOCK SERIES EIGHT <3

2) ariana grande and jai brooks will have made beautiful little bbys woooot

3) competitive exams will have been outlawed for children under the age of eighteen (pray pray pray)

4) i will have a life. seriously, if things continue to be this shitty i will become a hermit and never come out of the forest

4) bell bottoms will be back. and they will be huge.

5) germany will have won, again and again (wheeeee) 

6) being thin wont be the aspiration of every teenager on the planet! honestly, thisis so important, you should be healthy and thats it.
7) there'll be this indian boyband called Pretty Wild or something and they will be huge
8) someone will find this blog and make a meme out of it
9) ill have my own house, preferably on a beach with my best friend/ wifey/ husband
10) oh yeah, gay marriage will be legal
11) the literacy rate in india will be more than forty percent
12) ill have a job that i love. please, oh please god please
13) mockingjay will still be the highest grossing movie of all time (excitement!)
14) ansel elgort will still be the hottest guy to ever have lived
15) miley cyrus's latest chart topping single will be entitled 'sorry not sorry' and the music video will feature puppies and rainbows or something

thats all for now! so sorry, again, that i haven't been more active lately :( i promise to do a longer post soon after my exams :( <3
go break hearts, my lovelies
P.S. just saw the chanel fall couture show thingy and woooww
P.P.S obsessed with echosmith (thanks bethany)
P.P.P.S i just got an ask.fm! ask me whatever you could possibly want to know-ask.fm/pujuthepig
P.P.P.P.S kay now bye

why you shouldn't call people sluts and other valuable lessons.

aloha!
so in light of recent events, (in my life not everywhere) i feel like writing about what feminism is and the definition of a feminist because most peeps are kinda confused bout that shizz.
a feminist is NOT someone who hates men. we don't think all women are greater than all men. we just know that we are ALL equal, and we want those privileges which are rightfully ours.
what it means to be a feminist:
it means standing up for women everywhere, and here i feel like quoting the dauntless manifesto:

that is it exactly. 

it means DEMANDING equal rights for men and women. this can be anything, even the right to have bad handwriting. obviously, my handwriting is absolutely disgusting (though completely legible) and my history teacher once said to me, while correcting one of my assignments, "this is so messy.*points at random boy* even his handwriting is better than yours. being a girl you're still so messy?" needless to say i wanted to pulverize her, but i wasn't too keen on getting expelled just yet. so i stood there, said "being a girl has nothing to do with it," and walked away. honestly, i've had enough of double standards. and being judged for being a girl before anything else.

moving on, it means beating the crap out anyone who says "boys will be boys". a member of parliament basically used that to excuse rapes committed by minors. "how are they supposed to help it if they are tempted? everyone makes mistakes. girls shouldn't tempt boys"

oh my, im so sorry i murdered you, i was just too tempted by the expression of cunning idiocy on your face. the thing everybody needs to understand is that it is NEVER the girls fault if she gets raped. she can wear whatever she likes because it's HER body and HER life and you have no right to think that her dressing well means she WANTS you to get tempted. its YOUR fault if you cant control your freaking mind, not hers.

 

does that illustrate my point?

just because a girl wants to wear nice clothes and feel good about herself, that DOES NOT mean she's trying to get your attention and it especially doesn't mean she's 'asking for it.'

what else does feminism mean?

it DOESN'T MEAN hating girls who revel in their beauty. it doesn't mean hating someone who shaves their legs and wears nice clothes, because wanting to feel pretty is a part of being HUMAN and there isn't really anything wrong with that, but SERIOUS RESPECT if you dont shave your legs and wear what you like. so she's beautiful, and she knows it. you shouldn't go up to her and tell her that she's a disgrace to feminism and she needs a life. maybe you should tell her that she is smart, independent and strong, and you would be her friend even if she wasn't beautiful. you're proud of being smart aren't you? and you work hard for it. well maybe she's proud of herself for being beautiful, and she works hard for it too. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH WANTING TO BE PRETTY. but next time you're in a makeup store, ask anyone there if they think boys are ugly without makeup. when they say no, just tell them that you think they're pretty without makeup too and that their boyfriends should care more about what they say and do than if their skin is perfectly smooth.

it means punching anyone who calls another girl a slut. for example:

*girl in booty shorts walks into room*

another girl: god what a slut

me: *punch*

me: ohmygod my hand OW

look, people can wear whatever the hell they want. when you call her a slut, you sound exactly like all those MPs who justify rape. she was showing off her nice bod = she's a slut = she wanted to get raped = it isn't the guys fault = degradation of society everywhere. and think about it, if a guy went around serial dating, no one would ever criticise that, but i've lost count of the number of times Taylor Swift has been called a slut. firstly, her personal life is none of our business, and also, im TWO HUNDRED PERCENT SURE HARRY STYLES HAS DATED MORE PEOPLE AND THAT'S COMPLETELY OKAY SOMEHOW. its sickening, because guys never call other guys sluts if they sleep around, but girls will judge another girl like THAT.

and that, i think is the root cause of the problem, that girls dont support other girls. think about, when is the last time you called some girl a slut? probably yesterday. and when do you think one of your guy friends last called another guy a slut for flirting with someone. he probably never would. he'd just congratulate his brawh for 'getting some'. so STICK UP FOR EACH OTHER PEOPLE! even if you don't like the chick, at least dont let some guy completely disregard her intelligence completely when he simply labels her as 'hot'. STOP OBJECTIFYING GIRL'S BODIES. we are smart, funny, complicated and opinionated. so much more than just 'hot' or 'pretty'. we're people too.

and the worst part is that some girls are so used to getting labeled as simply bodies to mess around with and throw away, they start thinking like that too. but its time we put a stop to it. we have to spread the message that girls can do anything, be anyone. they are strong too. and i will personally beat the shit out of anyone who refuses to acknowledge my existence because i'm a girl, or my intelligence because im 'pretty'. so promise me that next time you see a girl who regards herself as nothing more than a pretty face, you'll tell her how smart she is. or how funny, or creative, or strong, or talented, or confident, or brave. and if you're a guy, you can let her know how hot you think she is, but make sure she knows that she is SO. MUCH. MORE.

personally i know a lot of girls like that, and i think they should be told to strive for whatever they want, and know that they deserve the best. 

it means not telling little girls to wait for their prince to come. you don't need no prince! it means buying blue, green, yellow, red, orange, purple AND pink things for little girls. it means making sure they know that barbie is super pretty, but there's so much more to life like books and play-doh and painting. it means teaching them that girls are smart too. and while every little girl you know might love playing with kitchen sets, you should get them cool stuff too, like GoldieBlox!!

how awesome is that!!

and lastly, it means kicking your gym teacher's ass when he tells the girls to 'sit down' while he makes the guys do push ups. or better yet, get down on the ground right there and do them push ups (well, figuratively, because i cant actually do a push up but i can damn well represent all those badass women who can do a bloody good push up.)

you don't need a guy, okay? you can get your own house, your own car, your own job. you can be a boss. you can be a star. you can be whoever you want to be! dream big. and if you need someone, there are a ton of girls (and guys) out there to help you, but remember that you're amazing on your own.

i hope you understood that feminists are NOT 'man haters' and hopefully that wasn't too serious. thank you so much if you read to the very end! i love you guys, really.

go break hearts, my lovelies <3 xoxo

P.S. TFIOS Premiere!!!! aaaaahhhhhh!!!!!!!!!! i think ill die if they dont release it in india. also, they totally should because it would make a hell lot of money here. 

i love them SO FREAKING MUCH i want to die

Lists and Side Notes

greetings, earthlings
im in the middle of a particularly long and boring summer that seems determined to neither provide entertainment nor end (side not: hope i get tons of REM sleep so i can have a Midsummer Night's Dream). (side note: im going to start reading more stuff by old will). anyway, 'tis that beautiful stage of adolescence, where everything falls apart and you question your very existence and inherently hate people who seem happy ( its so sunny and byoooootiful!) and you want to be effortlessly cool and stubbornly rude and alone at the same time and mostly you just wish it would END already. i could be a pathetic loser and list everything wrong with my life right now. so i will
Everything Wrong With My Life Right Now
1) i  might have cried because i may have been dumped for a guy by someone who is possibly lying to me and who is probably the only person at school that doesn't hate me (this entire list may be rather exaggerated).
2) i was super happy when that person dumped their downright stupid Ex Boyfriend but the guy I got dumped for After that is ten million times worse, and yes, i see the irony. and idiocy.
3) i really, really miss two people. both of whom i cant talk to for completely ridiculous reasons.
4) it is my last year of school. and i should be studying madly for my Final Exams Ever but here i am instead, writing a blog that no one reads.
5) five is basically this weird toxic thing thats been going on forever, that i really want out of and that i really cant write about.
6) i didn't really have a six
7) um. everything sucks?

more lists bc yolo and idek:
My Favourite Movie Soundtracks Ever
1) 500 Days of Summer- best. soundtrack. ever.
2) Divergent- this sounded amazing during the movie i dont really know if all the songs are good
3) The Bling Ring- kinda different but i love it

The Best Book Soundtracks Ever
yes, i know books dont have soundtracks but these are just a lot of great books where they mention a lot of great songs
1) The Perks of Being a Wallflower
2) Saving June
3) Will Grayson, Will Grayson (take the nerdfighter census here!)

Why Gay Marriage Should Be Legalized Everywhere
1) the government has no right to dictate who you fall in love with, or what you should feel.
2) "it isn't natural" honestly. just get over yourself okay? there have been gay people inhabiting this planet for as long as straight people. AND THEY ARE COMPLETELY NORMAL! its just love right? one human to another. how dare you think you get to decide if what someone feels is right or wrong?
3) its true, the main point of humanity is to ensure our continued existence (the only instincts we're truly born with are DON'T DIE and MAKE BABIES) and gay people cannot have children. and there are millions of kids out there who are in desperate need of loving homes.
4) a kid adopted into a gay/lesbian family will definitely have a good life, because they were wanted and prepared for and their parents have already been checked out by an adoption agency, which means they most certainly aren't drug addicts, alcoholics or abusers, unlike some straight parents. and there can never ever be an unwanted, 'accidental' child.
5) all people are equal. no one asked to be born the way they were, therefore we cannot be punished for it. they have commited no crime in being who they are, they never asked for this, for your opinion on their lifestyle or sexuality, and all they need is your acceptance and support, nothing more.

Things I Want To Do Before I Die
1) write a book
2) learn how to play the guitar
3) own a library
4) get a really, really weird haircut
5) see the arctic monkeys in concert
6) change over my wardrobe completely. like from one season to another, just chuck out everything i had and buy a TON of new stuff
7) teach
8) have one of those super interesting jobs that no one ever actually wants like bartender/taxi driver/ air hostess/ receptionist/ anything to do with a cruise ship
9) have a relationship worthy of hollywood/bollywood.
10) learn how to fight

My Favourite Met Looks! (should i do Cannes next post??)
MET GALA 5/5/2014
                                 

da bae is SLAYING in Stella McCartney

i am honestly in love with this dress|| Suki Waterhouse in Burberry

brilliant. also i have no idea who that is, but the dress is Prabal Gurung

honestly, she can do no wrong.||Anne Hathaway in Calvin Klein

Emma Stone and Andrew Garfield|| i love them way too much

Taylor Swift in Oscar de la Renta|| business in the front, party in the back

she looks a little strange but whatever|| Victoria Beckham

 in Victoria Beckham (i've always wanted to say that!)

and i just had to post this picture of Suki bc she 

was the side bae but now i think she's the main bae...

i think thats it with the lists. or maybe ill just do a few more:

What My Three Wishes Would Be If I Had Three Wishes

1) to get to live with Danisnotonfire and AmazingPhil

2) go to Hogwarts. for all seven years, as a witch

3) you remember that place, in The Devil Wears Prada, where they take her for her makeover? there. i want to get lost in there 

Why I Dont Wear Makeup (i do a wear a little sometimes, im talking about the full on, everyday stuff)

1) it doesnt make me feel prettier, just more conscious, because im always just like, have i put it on properly? is it smudging? do i look like a clown?

2) i have NO IDEA how to put on eyeliner, and 'Drunk Panda' isnt really my kind of look

3) all i can think about once i put it on is taking it off

4) i'd rather sleep for ten more minutes

5) i dont own any

Who I Would Never Pick As A Boyfriend (dont even know why i'm writing this bc im going to be forever alone hahaha)

1) anyone who hasn't read Harry Potter or TFIOS

2) anyone who would rather be invisible than fly

3) anyone who's favorite Arctic Monkeys song isn't 505 or Arabella

4) anyone who actually thinks Alex Turner should be dating Arielle (you belong with alexa!!!) 

like. come on.

and that is truly it with the lists!

A Note To Parents, Teachers and Self Help Book Writers:

we're teenagers, okay? we like being our angsty, complaining, depressed selves. it makes us feel cool. we don't want to meditate, or make ourselves feel happy or 'go out' and 'make friends'. we just want to sit at home and stew in our misery (obviously not all the time, we party it up pretty well too). but the point is, we know you're trying to help, and we love you for that, but sometimes you should leave us alone. sometimes we just CANT tell you how we're sad because we got dumped (because we weren't allowed to have a boyfriend anyway) or that our best friends are lying to us about what they're doing or who they're doing it with or whatever shit is really going on. and thats okay. we will get through it, we have our friends (mostly) but what im trying to say here is, just let us be. we dont know who we are either, and thats what we want to find out. 

and that is the end of this post. i hope you i didn't bore you to death, and THANK YOU SO MUCH if you read the whole thing. what were your favourite met gala looks? let me know and tell me what you want to see next post in the comments!

go break hearts, my lovelies <3 

Bummer Summers

aloha, (non existent) internet fanbase!
its summer. -i am fighting serious high school musical inspired urges to get up and start singing. WHAT TIME IS IT? SUMMER TIME! ITS OUR VACAAATION! (lol jks i'm way too lazy)-
anyway, if you live in the western/southern/ i'm bad at geography hemisphere and have no idea what im talking about, lemme break it down for you. out here in the blessed land that is india, we have three seasons, summer, not summer, and the beautiful -EXTREMELYDESTRUCTIVE- monsoon.
so yeah.
its summer.
anyway, i feel like writing about something different this time, instead of just going on and on about my eeshtupid life. and i was like, you have to write about summer. fun in the sun. but no. cause i don't like no sun. (except in the winter. haha. the grass is always -okay you get it). a majority of this summer is going to be spent thinking about fashion  (more details later in the section called The Blissfully Uninteresting Paragraph Whichmostofyouwillskip About My Insanely Swagnificent Life). and, you guesssed it, i was like why not do a post about summer fashion. yeeeesss. may the force be with you.

My Favorite Spring/Summer Collections This Year

1) Runway/ Fashion Week (spring summer 2014)

 

Burberry Prorsum at London Fashion Week.

 understated elegance. that is all.

check out the full collection here

Just Cavalli at Milan Fashion Week

personally, i adore (most) of this collection, but it definitely isnt for everybody

more pictures here

Oscar de la Renta at New York Fashion Week

i freaking love Oscar de la Renta collections from the

 bottom of my heart, and this one is no different.

more beeyootiful clothes here

Christian Dior Haute Couture Paris Fashion Week

endlessly glamorous, effortlessly sophisticated. 

all together a wonderful collection that screams NEW while still being inspired by the old,

and can i just say, SILHOUETTES. wow.

and i have to give a shoutout to one of my favorite runway shows ever: Christian Dior Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2013

Miu Miu at Paris Fashion Week

bright and bold and deliciously playful, this collection has me head over heels

more coverage here

A few random favorites from fashion weeks around the globe: 

Ellie Saab, Paris Fashion Week

Chanel Haute Couture (best. show. ever. also, Cara Delevingne asdfghjkl)

Christian Siriano Runway Show

so my out and out favorites were definitely Miu Miu and Just Cavalli, with Oscar de la Renta coming in close behind. this summer seems to be all about light fabrics, great silhouettes and bold prints.

2) Campaigns

    my definite favorites were:

Dior Spring Summer 2014 Campaign (more for the concept than the actual clothes)

and again with Chanel. also, how adorable is Lindsey Wixon?

i really wish i could get my hands on this collection somehow. oh well.

absolutely stunning campaign from Salvatorre Ferragamo

not that sure about the actual clothes tho.

..  

gotta love motavator fashion (i realize this isnt high end but i had to give it a mention)

beautiful campaign is beautiful.

possibly my favorite ever. can we all just stop for a minute and appreciate that first blouse?

all in all, if i was super rich and people actually cared about what i wore, i would be freaking happy with the offerings of this summer. 

The Blissfully Uninteresting Paragraph Whichmostofyouwillskip About My Insanely Swagnificent Life

well, i promised. and here it is. so. its summer. and im in the tenth grade, and in india you give this super important exam at the end of the tenth grade that is going to basically decide the rest of your life. actually, you give ELEVEN exams and called The Board Exams ( because they're organised by this central 'board' of education called the Increasingly Corrupt and Sadistic Establishment, or something) and i am going to have to pass them with flying colors next march. so yeah, i have to spend this entire summer studying. boohoohoo. and the reason that im going to have to spend time thinking about fashion is because my school is taking part in this fashion show competition and my best friend and i are in charge *does impromptu dance of victory and happiness and nearly drops laptop*. the theme for the show is 'yin meets yang' (dont ask) basically, opposites. and while i love fashion and fashion choreography and clothes and modelling and all that good stuff, im kind of desperately stuck for ideas. oh well. other stuff about my life that i will go through really fast:

DIVERGENT ASDFGHJKL

instagram loving xD ( @rujutasingh )  #followme #pleasestopyoujustsoundstupid

its summer (did i mention that already?)

rekindled love for Pretty Little Liars (ezria!!! )

bethany mota. i wuv bethany mota. (AEROPOSTALE COLLECTION IS WOOOW)

and lastly, i want to go shopping.

go break hearts, my lovelies! xoxo <3

p.s. I HAVE A CARA DELEVINGNE OBSESSION BC EYEBROWS THAT IS ALL

  

Dear I.C.S.E, you suck. sincerely, me:)

Yoooooo people!
sorry i've been..... not here.
but here i am!
ok. so. i am ANNOYED right n- hold up!
HAPPY REPUBLIC DAY!!! (cue music) so 65 years ago, a bunch of old dudes signed a really long (and convoluted) bunch of papers they'd been busy writing for about... three years. yup. and then the constitution came into force and we became a democratic republic and everything went boom yeeehaaw. actually, they passed the constitution on 26th november 1949 and 'adopted'(no, it wasn't an orphaned baby) it on 26th jan 1950. BECAUSE in 1930, that was the date the congress declared we were an independent nation! (#fail) ah, wikipedia. where would we be without you? has anyone ever wondered why we have two national holidays related to our freedom from le british? (because the government is trying to confuse us beyond our general confusion at life) its because when we got independence from the british, we actually didnt have any kind of constitution. we were like a kindergarten class with no rules. or teacher. so then, because too many kids started getting play doh in their hair or crayons in their mouth or whatever, the oldest, nerdiest kids got up and made a bunch of rules, which we will follow for ever and ever! (yay) (by the way, too bad if you aren't indian. MWAHAHAHA)
so after that indecently informative history lesson, we can move on to what i was talking about before my brain so rudely interrupted me. im anNOYed. as some of you may know, im in the ninth standard. and in india, in the tenth standard, you give the Indian Certificate for Secondary Education examinations,(or the cbse's or ssc's) fondly called the board exams. so in one year, i will be giving these exams and be forever done with school. (yes eleventh counts as college cause we're that awesome) but none of this why im annoyed. no
so you would think that spending six hours studying in school everyday and approximately two to three hours studying at home everyday not to mention more than two whole months before the boards would be enough to pass. but no. some genius somewhere came up with the idea of creating a website called crackicse.com which has online quizzes on our entire physics, maths, chemistry and biology portion, and you need to do one or more of them every day or they tell your parents AND YOUR TEACHERS. and these quizzes actually count for twenty percent of our grade. and obviously, it is extremely easy to cheat on these so i dont even see the point. and i swear, if you tried doing the quizzes you would see what i mean. they contain a collection of the most bizarre, unhelpful, frustrating and unintelligent questions EVER. but it doesn't stop there. whichever genius thought making life harder and more school-centered for teenagers was a good idea, thought it was also a good idea to have distracting PORNOGRAPHIC ads on a webpage which requires students to think about the refractive index of diamond at the same time. do these people even think???? i mean firstly you are ruining kids lives by making them do more painful, HORRIBLE work than they already have to. and no, parents and teachers, i am not going to 'just be happy' because a)it doesn't work that way and b) i have absolutely no interest in this stuff! i do not want to do physics or maths! EVER! so just leave me the heck alone. i just finished another one of those stupid quizzes. and the worst part is that those suckers who came up with this whole thing must be SO proud of themselves. like, oh we're helping a bunch of kids crack their board exams! all the while ignoring the fact the fact that THE EDUCATION SYSTEM SUCKS! we learn nothing! literally, eleven years of schooling, we've become so textbook oriented that we can do nothing without pre written text. its just like that Phineas and Ferb song: they say imagination is mortally wrong.
of course, their brand of conditioned restrained imagination is perfectly fine. but thats all bullshit because two of my current teachers literally do nothing but read from the textbook. i am NOT kidding. she comes into class, opens the textbook and makes a kid read out loud. she never ever deviates. no extra out-of-syllabus info. and then you have these crack icse nutters quizzing us on the same, dead, boring crap. why dont they realize that for a generation of smart people they should make us THINK?? i am so sick of cramming lines of text into my head. and never applying it anywhere. and no one can even tell me why i need to know this stuff. the best answer they can come up with is 'to pass the exam'. wow. slow clap. im sorry but i dont want to spend half my life having my memory tested by unintelligent exams. id rather go exploring or something, and learn about random, amazing stuff that might be useful. YES. i am dropping out of school and going backpacking around the world. oh and crack icse, while you're trying to get kids to passthexampasstheexampasstheexam maybe you should think about trying to inspire kids to do something amazing. not irritate and bore the shit out of them so that they have no hope that their life could ever be fun and they get depressed hate everyone. you could say that kids will get depressed if they fail the exam but i assure you, those kids are not getting helped by your quizzes.
anyway, enough of this. in conclusion, you're unhelpful and you SUCK :|
sorry for a kind of angry/boring post. next time will be more funny, i promise!
Weekly Favourites:
1) this book!


2) this blog <3


3) this new youtube channel: itsGrace subscibe!


4) this song:

5) and this sexy beast <3
 
hope you liked it, even though it was a bit boring. thank you SO MUCH for reading, i loaf you! <3
comment telling me what you think about the education system in india :D
ciao!